Thursday, May 18, 2006

Maybe Darwin was wrong

I don't know if Barry and Melissa Collins are poor or not but they are, in my opinion, out of their minds. And so is their county and state, and any county or state for that matter, that allows people to own jungle animals that can eat you. The Collins family live in a small town in Applaliachian, Melvin, Kentucky and a three years ago thought it would be really cute to buy a 5-pound lion cub at a flea market and bring it home. Did they run out of geniune imitation Prada bags to buy? All out of King Cobras? What kind of flea market is this? They actually sell fleas but they are on the fur of the wild jungle cats so it's kind of a package deal. Now "Kitty" as the over 400-pound beast with full mane is called, spends its days walking back and forth around a 300-square-foot chain-link cage.

The neighbors, whose houses are separated by just afew yards, don't think of it a beloved pet but rather as a "frightening menace." They want county officials to ban animals deemed "inherently dangerous" by the state. While the county is at it why don't they ban "inherently idioctic" people.

"I think it needs to be in a different environment," said Pauline Hall, who lives three houses from the Collins family. "Everybody here keeps their guns loaded."

"He's not bothering nobody," Barry Collins said. And he won't until he uses the neighborhood kids as snacks. Then you'll here Barry saying, "He is a very gentle animal. He must have been provoked." When asked whether he thought Kitty was inherently dangerous, Collins said any pet can behave unpredictably and that he doesn't feel the lion is a threat to his boys, ages 5 and 1, or 3-year-old daughter. Yes, but when Rover behaves unpredictably he might bury a bone not rip them from your body.

So maybe Darwin was wrong. Maybe the county law there should be changed to require that people who want to keep inherently dangerous animals as pets can do so but only if they have to room with them.


Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

You're not lyin' there. There's a fine lion between keeping weapons of mass destruction and a top predator lion around your back yard. It could easily lead to a big Cat-astrophe.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Intellectual Insurgent said...

Wasn't there a guy in NY a few years back who had a pet alligator in his apartment?

9:52 AM  
Blogger Crankyboy said...

Foggy -

Would that be a Cat-astrophic?

10:35 AM  
Blogger Crankyboy said...

Not an alligator, although that could true too. It was a tiger in an apartment.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

A year or two ago I called 911 to report shots in the neighborhood (again). Half an hour later when the police made their reluctant appearance, I padded up the street in my bathrobe to see what was going on. As I got to the corner, I could hear the neighbor lady yell, "If you shoot my dog one more f'ing time I'm gonna let him loose on you!" A rather upset-sounding male voice replied "If I see that goddam dog chasing people in my yard one more time I'm gonna shoot it again!"

Evidently he'd shot the dog on three previous occasions. The Rottweiler simply refuses to die. This is a dog that has had my wife backed into a corner, snarling and howling (and the dog was, too), constantly jumps the fence to chase the neighborhood children... The dog's a menace. They simply can't, or won't, control the animal. Someday it's gonna do serious damage to someone...

10:19 AM  

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