Friday, November 25, 2005

Calling Agent Mulder

Happy belated turkey day. Now back to your regularly scheduled crankiness.

Even wonder about UFOs? No, not how many of them are there or why they are visiting Earth in such large numbers. Ever wonder why they only appear in the middle of Siberia at around 3 am or the remote areas of the desert at midnight? How about that all the video of "them" are shaky and out of focus? It's like the guy with the camera has the shakes in the middle of an earthquake while riding a rollercoaster at night and without auto-focus. Why can't ET and his buddies just land at the Superbowl at halftime and prove their existence to the world? This would also have the added benefit that Ashlee Simpson lip-syncing some horrible pop song would be interrupted.

I mean with all the planets in the universe, billions and billions to quote Carl Sagan and McDonalds, why would the Klingons come here? For our salad bars or tanning booths or cinnabons? They wouldn't and they don't. But according to a former defense minister and deputy prime minister of Canada, they do.

A former Canadian Minister of Defence and Deputy Prime Minister under Pierre Trudeau has joined forces with three Non-governmental organizations to ask the Parliament of Canada to hold public hearings on Exopolitics -- relations with “ETs.” On September 25, 2005, in a startling speech at the University of Toronto that caught the attention of mainstream newspapers and magazines, Paul Hellyer, Canada’s Defence Minister from 1963-67 under Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Prime Minister Lester Pearson, publicly stated: "UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head." Mr. Hellyer went on to say, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something."

No word on whether he was as drunk as Otis on Mayberry RFD at the time of his speech. My guess it was more like Arthur drunk.

Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."

I'm still deciding which is worse that some former Canadian government official said stuff that is usually mumbled by patients at the local mental ward or that he got a standing ovation for his thoughts. I'm going to go with the former since most in the audience were wearing tin foil on the heads.

Even if he is right any confidence that the U.S. could fight the Romulans any better than the Sunnis? I don't think so. On the other, we should fight them over there on Seti Alpha 6 rather than fight them here.

Gobble, Gobble.


Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

Nothing could be better for George than the discovery of hostile aliens. Now that he has screwed up everything on Earth, I'll bet he's hard at work fabricating a link between Saddam and Ming the Merciless on planet Mongo.

8:13 AM  
Blogger Crankyboy said...

Fabricating? There is a link between Saddam and Ming. Ming the cook that is.

11:03 AM  
Blogger d.K. said...

Thanks for sharing this... it should have been front page news. It's even funnier because it's a true story. The X-files (which I've never seen) spawned a whole new generation of UFO (conspiracy) theorists - including members of my own family. Yikes.

Gobble gobble.

1:53 PM  
Blogger phinky said...

d.k., I hope you reminded them it was a TV show. Now I thought the aliens were coming for the acorns. You have to go see Chicken Little to get the joke. ;)

10:15 AM  

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