Friday, December 23, 2005

Republican Pantywaists

I was reading the latest cut-and-run exit plan that W has for Iraq in 2006 and it reminded me that to this day I don't get why the Republicans have such a good reputation about national security and defense issues. They don't. It's the triumph of marketing plain and simple. Sort of like how Microsoft's operating system is thought to be better than Apple's OS X. It's an urban myth like the Loch Ness-sized myth peddled by W that a news leak about monitoring Osama Bin Laden's satellite phone compromised national security.

If I remember my history it was Democrats FDR and Truman that led the U.S. during World War II. And quoting some movie (Fletch?), "Truman dropped the big one!" "He dropped two!" Democrats firebombed Dresden and Tokyo and nuked Japan twice. They created the O.S.S. which became the C.I.A. Then there was Kennedy who fought the cold war, blockaded Cuba risking nuclear war and fought the commies in Vietnam. Wasn't it some Republican who declared "victory" and pulled out? The 70s version of cut-and-run. Then there was Ronald "Iron Guts" Reagan who, after 241 Marines were killed in Beirut by a Hezbollah (a.k.a. Iran) suicide bomber on October 23, 1983 "retaliated" by cutting-and-running from Lebanon and then invaded the sleepy island of Grenada two days later. Reagan then showed the world how tough he was on terrorists and rouge regimes by Fedex-ing military parts and supplies to the Iranians to fix their weapons. A frosted cake was almost sent but the "tough" Republicans didn't want to be seen as too biatch-like with the murderers in Tehran. What lessons did Islamic "evildoers" learn about how Republicans "retaliate?" We can slaughter your Marines and you'll send us weapons and maybe even a cake.

Recently the Republican pantywaists cut-and-ran from Iraq in 1991 after W's daddy encouraged a Shiite uprising, stayed on vacation when Bin Laden was "determined to strike in US," leaked the name of an undercover C.I.A. who worked in WMD non-proliferation, cut funds for nuclear non-proliferation programs, handled Iraq as well as a monkey f-ing a football and ordered the NSA to spy on Americans without warrants. And their gravitas on national security and defense issues is wear a lapel pin of the American flag, chant "stay the course" and clap louder while labeling dissent as un-American and abetting the enemy? And half the country still votes for them? Like I said, I still don't get it.

In the words of Basil Fawlty, "Maybe it's just a dream? (bangs head on desk a few times looks up) No, its not a dream." I wish it were.

BONUS POSTING: I learned something new today, a rarity. I know about pink diamonds, blue lobsters and albino alligators but I've never heard of a purple pearl. I have now.


Blogger d.K. said...

I think the days of Republican leadership in defense is a thing of the past, and they have NO credibility any more.
I hope during the holiday season, you find at least a few minutes of good cheer and can surpress the curmudeonly disposition you generally wake up with ;-)
Seriously, though, have a great holiday with you and yours, and I look forward to your wit and incisive observations in 2006. Best,

7:56 PM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

There is no myth concerning the superiority of Windows over whatever the Sesame Street crowd at Apple is peddling today - quite the opposite. All you hear are faith-based proclamations from the appleheads with glazed expressions as to the strong but undefinable superiority of their fruit-based systems.

I'll bet you think there's a plot to steal Christmas too!

9:35 AM  

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