Tuesday, February 07, 2006

It's good to be the king

The New Republic magazine used to publish headlines from newspapers that were unintentionally humorous. They might have a front page headline like "U.S. Economy Strong in Quarter" and then on the jump page where the article continued the headline might say, "Economic Weakness Continues." Sometimes two different articles on the same day and same page written by two different reporters would have completely opposite headlines. I was reminded on this yesterday when Crankybro said he had heard an NPR announcer read a news headline that said, "Muslims riot worldwide to protest cartoons depicting Islam as a violent religion." Yes it's hard to make this stuff up.

Last night I found another example. On the very day Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was explaining how the President can wiretap Americans without a warrant, and not answering questions about whether mail is being opened or entirely domestic calls are being listened into, Hollywood's most famous private investigator, Anthony Pellicano, was charged with....wiretapping. Yes, poor Anthony's last name isn't Bush or Gonzales or Cheney otherwise he too would proudly be telling doe-eyed audiences and Congressional Republicans how he wiretapped journalists, entertainers and alleged rape victims. He wouldn't have to take an oath before a Congressional hearing and he would say that his right to wiretap is "somewhere in the Constitution." He might not be able to find the right to privacy in the penumbras of the Bill of Rights but if you stare hard enough, sort of like finding "Dolphins at Play" hidden in swirl pictures, you'll easily see the inherent authority of the unitary executive to do anything in our time of war. I can't wait for the "strict constructionalists" and "originalists" on the Supreme Court how they are going to going to find "somewhere in Article II" these powers of wiretapping and all the other things W is doing now that we don't even know about. Maybe they should practice by trying to find the hidden picture in this one called "A Fantasy." Look hard enough you'll see it. Just like Scalia, Thomas, Roberts and Alito will see unlimited presidential powers somewhere in the Constitution. And since the war will never end the broad and inherent powers of the unitary executive will last forever. The Republicans must have great faith in Diebold to keep them in The White House.

As to Anthony Pellicano, he should say he declared war on Hollywood's journalists and entertainers, something likely to get red state support, and then argue he had to wiretap for national security purposes. Changing his last name to "Bush" might help. Then come out fighting by declaring over and over, "If Sylvester Stallone is talking to Paramount, we want to know about it." Claiming the authorization of the use of force in Afghanistan gave him permission to wiretap domestically couldn't hurt his chances either. The "Nixon did it too" defense might be a bit much but just wait a week or two. W, Rove, Cheney, Gonzales and McClellan might be warming up to argue that Nixon was actually a victim of the overreaching Congress who infringed on the unitary executive and then passed the unconstitutional FISA law in 1978. Couldn't be any more historically or intellectually dishonest than they've been up to this point. Just ask yourself this question, would W, Cheney, Rove and Gonzales be for or against the Bill of Rights if they were proposed today? Not only would they be against them they would argue it was because of "national security" reasons and supporters of the Bill of Rights were aiding and abetting terrorists. And I thought it was 2006 when it's really 1984.

2 Comments:

Blogger Crankybro said...

I finally got my 15 minutes of fame!

8:30 PM  
Anonymous rMatey said...

Fits right up there with some of the other great tenents of this administration, like intelligent design, no child left behind and democracy.

9:13 AM  

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