Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Praise the Lord and pass the dope

The Supreme Court ruled unanimously Tuesday that a small congregation in New Mexico may use hallucinogenic tea as part of a four-hour ritual intended to connect with God. The Supreme Court, in their first religious freedom decision under Chief Justice John Roberts, moved decisively to keep the government out of a church's religious practice. Federal drug agents should have been barred from confiscating the hoasca tea of the Brazil-based church, Roberts wrote in the decision. New Justice Samuel Alito did not take part in the case.

The tea, which contains an illegal drug known as DMT, is considered sacred to members of O Centro Espirita Beneficiente Uniao do Vegetal, which has a blend of Christian beliefs and South American traditions. Members believe they can understand God only by drinking the tea, which is consumed twice a month at four-hour ceremonies.

So I am building a small bell tower in my house and ringing it three times a day. That will be the first step to declaring my newly formed Church of the Curmudgeon. I will then become a tax-free entity and begin spreading the gospel of curmudgeoness. It will involve drugs, gambling and other assorted illegal activities now protected by my religious status and the Supreme Court. So welcome one and all to the newly formed Church of the Curmudgeon. Some religious organizations use dopes, some are led by them. Praise the Lord and pass the joint.


Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

When do the services start dude - I mean Reverend?

During Prohibition, when wine was considered a dangerous drug, there were exemptions for medical and religious purposes. If you can't take the wine out of communion, you can't take the mescaline out either.

I'm glad that Roberts is turning out to be a Liberal. Let the Apaches have their cactus and let the Rastafarians get stoned. These things are none of the Government's business and they're all less poisonous than Maneschevitz.

I wish I could see George's face when he heard that one!

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sign me up, I might even donate to the church.

1:55 PM  
Blogger Crankyboy said...

I'm thinking of changing the full name to the Church of the Curmudgeon and Bar and Grill

2:17 PM  
Blogger Intellectual Insurgent said...


Hate to ruin the fun, but from a technical legal perspective, how did they reconcile the decision with the one striking down CA's medical marijuana statute?

12:27 AM  
Blogger Crankyboy said...

Don't have both decisions in front of me but I'm guessing religion is given more free reign than cancer victims.

8:14 AM  
Blogger Intellectual Insurgent said...

If that is the case, all cancer victims should become rastafarians. There is a legal principle that the law should not be interpreted to create an absurdity, but these numbnuts have really done a fine job with this one.

12:28 PM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

Rastaman Vibration yeah!
Positive I and I vibration yeah!
Irie Ites Vibes, got to have a good
Picking up.
Are you picking up now?

5:32 PM  

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