Memories, like the corners of my mind...

Lynne Cheney appeared on CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer and denied that the book she wrote and published entitled "Sisters," had sexually explicit passages in it. This only came up because Sen. George Allen's campaign has quoted from books challenger Jim Webb wrote and cites sexually charged language in the books to argue Webb is some sort of sexual deviant like, for example, Republican Mark Foley. Cheney of course lied and was evasive when pressed to answer questions about her book in light of the fact that she was critical of Webb for writings in his book. Follow me? The video is another classic that should be immediately sent over to the broadcastng hall of fame. Blitzer tried to get an answer out of Cheney when he asked her about passages in her own book that "featured a lesbian love affair, brothels and attempted rapes." Here's how the Associated Press described the book in 2004: "a historical romance published in 1981 that includes brothels, attempted rapes and a lesbian love affair." Brothels, attempted rapes and lesbian love affairs written about in bad novels. By all means let's talk about the important things this election cycle rather than how are we going to help protect 147,000 troops in Iraq and remove them from the middle of a nascent civil war that will make the past three years of bloodletting look like a picnic.

Maybe Cheney needs a memory expert to help her out. Here's one that probably need a new gig. Elizabeth F. Loftus, a professor of criminology and psychology at the University of California at Irvine, was hired as an expert memory witness for Vice President Dick Cheney's indicted chief of staff Lewis I. "Scooter" Libby. Libby has been indicted for lying to F.B.I. investigators and obstruction of justice. His defense seems to be that he was so inundated with secret memos and national security papers and briefings that he just didn't remember leaking the name of an undercover C.I.A. agent to Judith Miller. So he and his team hired Prof. Loftus to explain how he wouldn't remember gossiping about classified non-official cover agents of the C.I.A. to the big, bad New York Times. Only one problem - the "memory expert" Prof. Loftus doesn't have a good memory herself. Loftus insisted that she had never met Fitzgerald but he reminded her that he had cross-examined her before, when she was an expert defense witness and he was a prosecutor in the U.S. attorney's office in New York. It has been reported that Loftus was reduced to "stuttering" and "backpedaling" on the stand. It's just too funny. As a former trial lawyer you fantasize about this kind of cross-examination. It will be one of the top war stories Patrick Fitzgerald will be telling the rest of his life, believe me.

I'm thinking there is a future for anyone interested in becoming a memory expert. Maybe the Cheney family can get a group discount. Since President Bush has now claimed he never said "stay the course" in Iraq, maybe the administration can get a governmental discount. But since this Republican congress and Reoublican president enjoy spending money at a faster rate than any Democratic congress since FDR I think they probably would pay full price.