Friday, November 17, 2006

They hate us for our video games

The end of the world is at hand. It's called the Sony PlayStation 3. I've watched with a bit of head shaking the news stories of people waiting in freezing cold lines for three days to buy one of the new game consoles. I read about some woman here in Chicago who is like eight months pregnant sleeping in the cold for a couple of days to get one. (I'm sure that kid is going to be a model citizen.) I saw some story about a guy getting shot while waiting in line for a PS3 by someone trying to rob the line. I saw the stampede of people trampling men, women, children, cats, dogs and parakeets to get into a Best Buy to pay $500.00 so they could play their little video games this weekend. I heard about the Ebay sale of a PlayStation 3 for $4,400.00 and have seen sales go off at $3,000.00. The market has adjusted to the supply and demand but as of 11:30 p.m. tonight Ebay auctions are going off every minute or so for around $2,000.00. Keep in mind in a few weeks or so they'll have so many PS3 game consoles you'll have to step over them just to get inside a Best Buy. But no matter, it's just the latest immediate gratification item that shows the festering underbelly of society in all its fetid glory. But affecting presidential politics? Say that again.

Turns out this nutty story will no doubt find its way into an attack ad real soon. Apparently, ex-Senator John Edwards, who will be running for president in 2008 is now caught up in PlayStationGate. The story goes like this: Elizabeth Edwards, John's wife, mentioned to some of his staff that their kids wanted a PS3 game console. The staff members mentioned it to some Edwards volunteers and one of the volonteers, who no doubt has already learned the first lession of politics - do favors for more powerful people so as to get ahead - went down to a local Wal-Mart and tried to get one for the ex-Senator. I'm sure he threw around Senator Edwards' name as in "Do you know who I work for?" and "The Senator would be extremely grateful to get a PlayStation 3." If that last phrase isn't embarrassing enough, Sen. Edwards is a huge critic of Wal-Mart. Oops. This one is ready made for a political ad. Ominous voice-over: "John Edwards says Wal-Mart is unfair to its employees but when the senator wanted to play Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby on Sony's new PlayStation 3 he sent one of his lackeys to do his dirty work. Did we mention the game is the unrated version?"

Wal-Mart has already tried to turn this into some presidential invalidating event by issuing a news release Thursday saying "that on the same day Edwards was criticizing the company in a conference call with union-backed activists, the volunteer staff member had asked a Raleigh, North Carolina, electronics department manager to obtain a PS3 for the ex-senator's family. From Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville, Arkansas, company spokesman David Tovar said the person who called left a voicemail at the Raleigh store and identified himself as an Edwards staff member. When the manager returned the call, the staff member again identified himself as working for Edwards, and Wal-Mart said it confirmed that with Edwards' office. The retailer's news release accused Edwards of not wanting to wait his turn. While the rest of America's working families are waiting patiently in line, Senator Edwards wants to cut to the front," the Wal-Mart statement said."

The only line I want to cut in front of is the line getting off the planet. Between the pregnant lunatics who either wait in the freezing cold for three days to get a PS3 or the nuts who somehow have $4,400.00 to buy one on Ebay or Wal-Mart issuing a press release about a volunteer who name-dropped to get a video game console I want out. The patients are running the asylum and I just want to get out of the way. At least there isn't any stories about the violent nature of the games and how it's going to corrupt the youths of America because of course that's what does it. Rumor has it Hitler played a lot of Grand Theft Auto while listening to Eminem. But the Sony PlayStation 3 has only been out for 24 hours. Give it another day or two.


Blogger d.K. said...

Sometimes some of your subtext is lost on me; I understand the justifiable criticsm of the WalMart press release, but if it is also a criticsm of John Edwards, I think it's a bit unfair. He can't be held accountable for the wrong behavior in this case because an aide dropped his name. For all we know, other than innuendo, the game wasn't intended for the Edwards family at all. Though that may be the case, as WalMart would have us believe, there's just no way for us to know that.
But again, maybe you weren't making that point at all, in which case the intended sardonicism was lost on me and I'm the one off the track. :)
BTW: I'm still waiting for my cabbage patch doll.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Crankyboy said...

Not a criticism of Edwards but rather of the circus we call Earth.

6:01 PM  
Blogger d.K. said...

Thought so... thanks for the clarification and I'm with you, Mars is looking better every day :)

10:23 AM  
Blogger Intellectual Insurgent said...

Humans really are a pitiful sort.

2:42 PM  

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