Monday, May 14, 2007

A Monica by any other name is still a nightmare

Katrina used to be a popular name in America. That was before Hurricane Katrina tried to turn New Orleans into Atlantis. Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News reported last week that in 2006 only 850 baby girls were named Katrina in the U.S. Makes sense. People don't like to name their kids after something that revives unpleasant memories. After Bill Clinton's "Monica problem" arose (pun intended) I thought well, there goes Monica as a girl's name. Another Monica has been in the news lately, Monica Goodling of the Department of Justice, and I'm hoping that "Monica" drops off the baby name lists completely since I'm unimpressed by their contributions to society so far.

Monica Goodling is the absurdly young and totally unqualified graduate of Pat Robertson's law school (no I'm not kidding) who was the Department of Justice's White House liaison (earning $133,000 a year) who had near total control over the hiring and firing of everyone at DOJ. Apparently going to a fourth-tiered law school (there is no fifth tier) and doing opposition research for the Bush-Cheney campaign is all you need to take control of the Department of Justice. Monica and her Rovian masters decided to put a few thumbs on the scales of justice and set the DOJ back 30 years when then President Nixon got Robert Bork (yes that guy) to fire Archibald Cox the Special Counsel. (Attorney General Elliot Richardson and Deputy AG William Ruckelshaus resigned rather than fire Cox. Bork had no problem just following orders.)

I guess I shouldn't be shocked anymore but I am. I'm not shocked that people motivated by religion, politics and/or self-interest, with a bit of "what's the point of having power if you don't use it?" thrown in do immoral things. It's more that I'm impressed with how many different places they do these things. The Department of Justice is off-limits to politics for the day to day operations and especially for prosecutions. Another myth busted not by Mythbusters but by the usual suspects, W, Rove, Gonzales and his useful idiot Monica Goodling.

Here's how the New York Times reports how Ms. Goodling was using her time at the DOJ roughly six years after graduating from the Lord's Law School: "Two years ago, Robin C. Ashton, a seasoned criminal prosecutor at the Department of Justice, learned from her boss that a promised promotion was no longer hers. “You have a Monica problem,” Ms. Ashton was told, according to several Justice Department officials. Referring to Monica M. Goodling, a 31-year-old, relatively inexperienced lawyer who had only recently arrived in the office, the boss added, “She believes you’re a Democrat and doesn’t feel you can be trusted.” Ms. Ashton’s ouster — she left the Executive Office for United States Attorneys for another Justice Department post two weeks later — was a critical early step in a plan that would later culminate in the ouster of nine United States attorneys last year. Ms. Goodling would soon be quizzing applicants for civil service jobs at Justice Department headquarters with questions that several United States attorneys said were inappropriate, like who was their favorite president and Supreme Court justice. One department official said an applicant was even asked, “Have you ever cheated on your wife?” Ms. Goodling also moved to block the hiring of prosecutors with résumés that suggested they might be Democrats, even though they were seeking posts that were supposed to be nonpartisan, two department officials said." Hiring and firing based on political tests for career posts at Justice is against the law. No matter, laws are for other people not on a divine political mission.

The stories get worse. It seems as if the last few years at Justice has been like "Survivor: D.C." with political apparatchiks making lists of those not from the Church of W all to be sacrificed on the altar of well, Justice. Those Republicans are great at making lists. Ms. Goodling has resigned, taken the fifth (a DOJ first) and has been granted immunity before testifying to Congress. I'm sure she won't recall anything important and her fifteen minutes of infamy will soon pass. My only hope is that this finally puts and end to the name "Monica." So far I'm unimpressed with the progeny.

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Blogger Intellectual Insurgent said...

With this administration, added to the cursed name list should be George, Alberto, Donald, Paul, Richard, Elliott, etc., etc. There are so many to choose from.

1:31 PM  
Blogger d.K. said...

How about "Fawn" or the names of the other famous ladies of the 80s (who was Swaggart's mistress? Gary Hart's "sweethart"?)

And while we're at it, lets lose Lynn, Laura, Phyllis, Ann,...

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



7:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are other positions on the war, you know. You don't have to like it, but "screaming and yelling" out of context gotcha quotes just make you look like a hateful whiner, and Halliburton conspiracy theorist.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

Oh right - Halliburton's attachment to the administration's teat is a "conspiracy theory."

When I think of the crawly little unclean vermin who write things like this I am well and truly glad for the second amendment.

No one is as anonymous as he thinks.

12:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And if you could figure out who I am by various hacking techniques, just what would you propose to do to an unclean person such as me? I'll take that Nazi-sounding comment as a personal threat.

4:59 PM  
Blogger Cranky's Wife said...

I think he's threatening to out you as the original anonymous who bid us "bye bye" a few weeks ago. Couldn't stay away? Clearly you figured out who Cranky is - should he feel threatened?

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, Cranky need not feel threatened at all. And I don't feel threatened about being "outed." Rather I take the second amendment comment from Capt. Fogg as a possible threat to hunt me down and shoot me. Do I think he's really serious? No. Could the comment be construed that way, however? I think so.

8:03 AM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

Your persistent and pustulant presence here is by itself a threat to me and my family - don't act coy. Don't pretend to outrage, to intellect or to be a victim. You have no audience to play to but yourself.

I don't suppose you'll ever rise above irrelevance and as a single turd in the cistern, you don't pose much of a threat to decency and public safety; not by yourself. But an armed populace is a bit more immune from the diseases carried by pathetic vermin like you who think they can sound transcendently intelligent by chanting "Hillary" like Brown-Shirts in a beer hall.

And by the way, who gives a shit what you think? Who even considers it to be thought and not the moronic babble of a pathetic, fringe element loser trying to seem relevant by making people angry and insisting on having the last word? Take it any way you like, but sooner or later your last word will be your last word.

11:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, when I choose not to write into this blog (or Crankyboy decides no longer to accept Anonymous posts [somehow he likes to expose "losers" like me by allowing them -- sounds a bit oxymoronic -- exposing an Anonymous person]), eventually there will be a last word from me. Big deal. There'll eventually be last words from you and Crankyboy and Bush and Hillary and Obama and McCain as well. Guess that's just life.

Perhaps I've been a bit "over-the-top" at times -- maybe even lame attempts at humor. But I'm just one of millions of Republicans in the country, and, I presume, you're just one of millions of Democrats (or at least certainly not Republicans).

My question for you is: why are you so particulalrly hateful and intolerant to any position other than yours?

11:12 AM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

very cute dude, but it's not like you didn't show up looking for a fight and making dumb, sarcastic, childish and empty comments and it's not a question of tolerance when talking about the unprecedented level of corruption and incompetence of either this administration or your personal behavior. It's not as though three quarters of the country doesn't agree with me. Nearly everyone who supported Bush has disassociated himself with him and his only remaining friends are those who have committed serious crimes and need his protection.

Yet you still act as though 80% of the country is some sort of lunatic fringe, mean and intolerant. Get real.

We don't normally talk about intolerance when dealing with thieves, madmen, and dangerous megalomaniacs with nuclear weapons; one doesn't see intolerance as a fault when it comes to permitting a government to rob us, deprive us of our guaranteed rights and endangering the country.

We have had many years of Republican rage and fear mongering and it's still going on. It hasn't been democrats launching swift boats, has it? Ann Coulter and Rush aren't Democrats, are they? No, I'm not tolerant of such disgraceful, illegal, immoral, repellent and dangerous behavior or of people who think they're being so brilliant by attacking others for their own faults like some 8 year old bully in a schoolyard claiming to be a victim when someone stands up to him.

Furthermore, when people start making personal comments about people in my family, claiming to know personal details, acting like a stalker, they forfeit any right to consideration and invite hostility. What the hell did you expect to achieve -- respect?

10:08 PM  

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