Thursday, May 26, 2005

Bring out your dead!

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead. Or he is wounded. Perhaps critically wound. Maybe gravely or mortally wounded. Or alive and well. Here is the next phase in the war on terrorism. After starting to give body counts of insurgents (terrorists if you watch FOX news), surely a bad sign for those of you who remember Vietnam, the Pentagon and the intelligence community are now simply reading a militant Islamic website and saying, "They say he is critically wounded so that's good enough for me." Sounds like another phony victory in the making. Look for more wanted men declared dead. The party line will be "We killed him, we don't need to see a body and it's another blow to terrorism." The people with bounties on their heads will simply be declared dead without any proof and those who question it will be seen as sympathizers of al-Qaeda or anti-American or both. I think I saw this before in a Monty Python movie.

CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He
won't be long.


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