Let the bidding begin

Tough one today. Nothing in the news that peaks my interest. Bin Landen audiotape? Big deal. Violence in the Middle East? Yawn. American Idol twin contestants arrested for fraud? What else is new? Then a story from a couple of days ago got me thinking. If Capt. Kirk's kidney stone is worth $25,000 how much is my crankiness worth?

So I will offer my crankiness in its entirety to the highest bidder. Although it has been used every day for a lifetime it is in very good shape. In fact, I'll provide a lifetime guarantee. Think of the joy you'll lose by owning my crankiness. The bidding is open so don't wait. If the auction is a success I'll have an additional auction to sell my boredom. After that my cynicism, loathing and general malaise.

Do I hear a dollar?