Thursday, August 24, 2006

Only a matter of time before he "Sharts"

I don't quite know what to make of this story from the Boston Herald but it is stunning as much as it isn't. I'm going to reprint it in large chunks because it's hard to improve on the original text.

"Maybe if Iraq were going better, I’d chalk this up to some cowboy thing.“Blazing Saddles Does D.C.” As it is, I worry that the supposed leader of the free world is trapped in the body of a 7-year-old and hiding a Whoopie Cushion under his bed. Has Dubya lost it? Anyway, here’s the news, such as it is. U.S. New & World Reports’ Paul Bedard says our commander in chief “loves flatulence jokes . . . can’t get enough of fart jokes. He’s also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides.” In an interview yesterday, Bedard, who writes “Washington Whispers” for the weekly newsmagazine, also said he’s heard about Bush’s full-salute “Austin Greeting.” That’s when new aides come in for their “meet and greet.” 'Word is,' says Bedard, 'he likes to gas a couple, and then bring the aide in and see what the kid’s face looks like.' Naturally, the aide can’t accuse the President or grimace or hold his nose. This dilemma apparently drives the presidential funny bone wild...Imagine the scene with Bush. Some nervous, excited and unsuspecting 25-year-old - male, let’s hope - is about to shake hands with the most powerful man on earth, and then, well, George makes his own unique contribution to global warming."

It's truly getting harder and harder to know if newspaper or internet stories are from The Onion (today's headline, "National Organization for Women turns 39 Again"), The Daily Show or The Borowitz Report (today's headline, "Saddam: "I killed JonBenet"). But I take The Boston Herald at its word. So all that talk in 2000 about restoring the dignity to the Oval Office was just that, talk. I remember that after the scandal of pants coming off (or at least around the ankles) in the Oval Office the new rule was the same as under Reagan -- suit jackets (along with pants obvisouly) wouldn't come off in the Oval Office, period. As for me I'd vote for pants to stay on, jackets to come off and cutting the cheese to be confined to the White House kitchen. Guess I'm not presidential material.

UPDATE: On Monday I wrote about the Hitler-theme restaurant that opened in India. Hitler's Cross opened five days ago and serves pizza, salad and pastries. Reports of a franchise being opened in Tehran were false -- at least for now. Well, after five days the owner has decided to change the name and remove the Nazi swastikas from billboards and the menus, after meeting with Bombay's Jewish community leaders. The bad news is the new name of the restaurant is Osama's Bar and Ground Zero Grill.


Blogger d.K. said...

This loser makes me sicker by the day. Restoration of decency my ass. We'll all be vindicated when historians write the definitive versions of the Clinton vs/ Bush II eight year regimes. It's already crystal clear to SO many of us.

6:34 PM  

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