Stop the presses!!!

There was a time when we took our freedoms for granted in America. Those days are long gone. It's now a daily battle to save this country from the forces of evil, the Republican Iron Curtain that is descending across our nation. We used to think our government shouldn't be allowed to spy on us unless a court warrant was issued upon probable cause. Now it's done if a guy at the White House or the NSA wants to do it. We used to think flying was as seamless as driving but now we have to carry our three ounces of baby formula in a clear ziploc bag, take our shoes off and still maybe get barred because you're one of the many John Smiths on the no-fly list. Habeas Corpus? Fugettaboutit. The U.S. government can pluck you off the street and disappear you into a secret prison forever if they want. And now? It was just a matter of time since Ari Fleischer the former White House press secretary warned people to "watch what they say" that our freedom of speech was formerly challenged.

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, that tubby lifelong government employee who criticizes lifelong government teat-sucklers, who when he's not lecturing people about the sanctity of marriage is having an affair with a subordinate employee (while impeaching Bill over Monica) and moving on to his third wife, thinks our freedom of speech is just a bit too loose. It needs to be tightened. You know, like a noose.

Gingrich said "the country will be forced to reexamine freedom of speech to meet the threat of terrorism." Tubby went on to say, "We need to get ahead of the curve before we actually lose a city, which I think could happen in the next decade." Why don't we just start up those internment camps form the 1940s? Oh we already did that with the CIA secret prisons.

"They hate us for our freedoms," we are constantly told by people who also hate us for our freedoms. They all must hate us a little less today since our freedom of speech will no doubt be joining some others in the America that we used to know and love.

P.S. "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." Does that sound better than, "the country will be forced to reexamine freedom of speech to meet the threat of terrorism"?