Monday, November 20, 2006

This circus really is a circus

I haven't been to the circus in over 30 years. The real circus that is, Ringling Bros. & Barnum and Bailey, not the circus that is planet Earth. I've been to that circus everyday since I knew there wasn't a tooth fairy. (Apologies to my small but devoted five-year-old fan base that just found out there is no such thing as a tooth fairy.) I took Cranky's Wife, (who used to have a blog until I killed it because of editorial misconduct), Cranky Jr. and Cranky Jr. Jr. Big mistake. Note to self: Don't bring a four-month old to Ozzy Osbourne concerts or the twice as loud Ringling Bros. circus - you'll end up in the hallway with a napping child. I saw the first act and Cranky's Wife saw the second act.

Also, bring lots of money. My older (but not necessarily wiser) brother used to say about traveling overseas that you should put the pile of clothes and the pile of money you intend to bring and then take away half the clothes and double the money. Same thing for the circus. First of all I thought the $24.00 tickets for row 5 of section 201 would be fine. The other choice was the $50.00 tickets and some on the floor for $80.00. Eighty-dollars a ticket for a circus? That's nuts. I figured level 2 is better than level 1 and level 3 had to be nosebleed seats. So level 2 in a low number row should be fine, right? Wrong. They're are fine if you want to watch it on the Jumbo-tron screen. The tickets to get were the $50.00 ones but that seems high to see some juggling and birds riding horseback on cats.

So we're in our seats and Cranky Jr. wants cotten candy. No problem. Ten dollars. Pardon me? How much? It did come with a cloth circus hat that must have cost a good fifty-cents so all in's still armed robbery. Oh, you want a Sno-Cone in a plastic elephant cup? Twelve dollars. A circus program? Fifteen dollars. A box of popcorn is six dollars. Some plastic motorcycle with spinning lights? Seventeen dollars. Slice of pizza and a small bottle of water sets you back $8.50. Did I mention parking was $20.00? Don't even ask how much they charged for toilet paper. Let's just say I may the four-ply go four times as far as it should. Needless to say the line at the ATM was looooooooong.

I didn't even keep track of how much the day cost. I'm learning that with these kid-oriented things, you are just a hostage. Just brace yourself and pray that it ends quickly. Pay the money and don't think about it. Now I've been through it I know better how to see the circus. Pay for the more expensive seats and buy everything. It's only once a year for a few years while your kids still think the circus is as wonderous as the tooth fairy.


Blogger Intellectual Insurgent said...

Doesn't that piss you off? Hubby and I went to Universal Studios last year in summer and couldn't believe what a racket it is. It was a shakedown. They might as well have strong men wearing black at the exits turn us upside down and shake us to make sure they get the last $.12 we managed not to spend on overpriced crap.

And we don't even have kids.

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You think this is bad, I have a couple of words for you

private school
family holidays

But cheer up, with boys you will save a lot on soap and shampoo.

Wiser older brother.

1:15 AM  
Blogger d.K. said...

Cute post. Thanks for the chuckle. I used to go to the same circus when I was a kid and it was free... the Shriners (whoever they are/were) used to pay for it. And it was actually under big tents.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Cranky's Wife said...

That's Ozzy OSBOURNE, my musically-challenged husband. And let the record show you did not kill my blog, I did. In fact, somewhere down the line it might come back - if I can think of anything to say.

7:46 PM  

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