Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Lord who art in heaven, please kill...

Deadline - Hobe Sound, Florida. Who needs to take a dip in a pool when I can just walk outside? I hear they're changing the name to Hobe Sauna real soon. Tip #107 from your Uncle Curmudgeon - don't go to South Florida in late August. If you think I'm cranky on normal days try me when the humidity reaches 110% and I can squeeze a cup of sweat from from my underwear. Not a pretty sight.

As I blog here in God's waiting room I had a chance to catch Pat Robertson continue his charade as a sane person. Robertson, who is becoming a repeat topic for the Curmudgeon, keeps giving me tall mountains of insanity to mine for this blog. Robertson is said to be worth over $190 million, most of it from the sale of the Family Channel, which somehow found its way into his personal assets instead of remaining part of his non-profit CBN. Robertson has openly support forced-abortions in China's one child policy but I'm sure it had nothing to do with his business interests in China. He has opposed removal of the murderous Charles Taylor as President of Liberia and I'm sure that had nothing to do with the mining licenses he held there. (A review of the lifelong hypocrisy of Pat including gambling interests, using humanitarian planes for diamond smuggling and other sitcom-like tales are here.)

For those news junkies out there you'll remember when Pat held hands on the "700 Club" and prayed, “Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court, and we ask for additional fine people like John Roberts. Lord, speed this hearing process; may there be no rancor. May the Senate comport itself as it should, and may we see peace, harmony and a rapid confirmation process. Do miracles, Lord. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

"Lord, please give Souter, Ginsberg, Stevens, Kennedy and Breyer cancer," would have been shorter and "Lord, please put an ice pick into the base of their skulls" sounds a bit coarse but the sentiment is the same. You have to wonder about a religion that turns its God into Sammy "The Bull" Gravano but hey, its a free country, until Patriot Act 4.

Pat's blood lust and deft touch for foreign policy, (gee, it's really too bad he didn't get elected president) was on display once again this week as he is planning another contract with his hitman sidekick Jesus. Pat has called for the United States to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, calling him "a terrific danger" bent on exporting Communism and Islamic extremism across the Americas. "If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it," Robertson told viewers on his "The 700 Club" show Monday. "It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war." World War I being the exception.

If I can own diamond and gold mines, chinese media interests, call for the deaths and assassinations of my enemies and have a checking account with $190 million dollars in it then I'm converting right now and my southern baptism can take place with the soaking wet air of south Florida. Have to go change my damp clothes and religion now. Amen.


Blogger d.K. said...

Great minds and all that... :)

10:42 AM  
Blogger Perdita said...

Between Pat's "interests", his lack of political skill and his blood lust....It sounds like he was elected president.
Come to think of it, have we ever seen the 2 together?

2:04 PM  

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