Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Fly the Moronic Skies

Since the early 80s I've only been shocked a couple of times. I'm not shocked anymore it's more of a head-shaking "I must be in the Matrix" reaction now. Sometimes I even reach for my com-link and say, "computer, freeze program. Computer, end program. (Yes, another geeky Star Trek reference, this time Next Gen, but it proves my point that everything can be explained through Trek). For you non-trekkies it's a stop the world I want to get off feeling. So what the heck am I talking about?

First there was this story where the new head of the Transportation Security Administration has called for a broad review of the air security system to reduce passenger hassles at checkpoints. Sounds reasonable right? "The staff's first set of recommendations, detailed in an Aug. 5 document, includes proposals to lift the ban on various carry-on items such as scissors, razor blades and knives less than five inches long. It also proposes that passengers no longer routinely be required to remove their shoes at security checkpoints. The proposal also would allow ice picks, throwing stars and bows and arrows on flights. What? No pass for paint ball guns?

Is there a bow and arrow lobby that I am not aware of that has this kind of influenece? Is this really worthy of the TSA and air security? Is there a problem with millions of passengers who have airport delays over getting their bows and arrows on the redeye to Vegas? Throwing stars? I can't remember the last time I saw a ninja on a flight. Then again, if ninjas were on a flight could anyone see them? They can pass through walls or so the legend goes. O.k. let's maybe give them a pass on this stuff. Unless more than half the plane passengers are working in a suicidal conspiracy with throwing stars, knives and cross bows, the other half won't let them take over a plane in mid-air ever again. So maybe I can understand the new rules.

But what about this? I try to wipe clean the memories of Sen. Ted Kennedy being prevented from boarding a flight because he was on a secret government terrorist no-fly list, but newborns and infants? You can bring on your knives and cross bows but not little Zuzu petal? Computer, freeze program. Computer, end program. Neo where are you when I need you? The only thing I know for sure is whoever is in charge of the no-fly list will get a promotion and perhaps the Medal of Freedom.

The Curmudgeon is most interested in all this as I am taking a field trip to the belly of the beast next week. I will be posting from the blood red state of Florida. God's waiting room. My site meter has tracked hits to this blog from the military and federal government and I fear that I, and maybe even my 2 year-old, have already been classified as enemies of the state. I'll either be blogging from South Florida or ninety miles south of Miami. I wonder if they allow throwing stars and knives at Gitmo. I'll let you know.


Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

The TSA is also considering a proposal to exempt congressmen from searcnes. After all the idea of someone with his hand in a congressman's pocket is - well it's just unnatural.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Crankyboy said...

Fogg - good one. Nice take on things. Wish I had thought of that.

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, they make the rules. They don't need to actually live by them.

11:52 AM  

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